Gratefully sorry.


not on my watch


To my past lover,

Thank you.

For enduring me at my hard times, even though you didn’t.

For sacrificing yourself on the process of our relationship, but you didn’t.

For making a pact that pursues to fathom the depths of me, except you didn’t.

For valuing my eminence as an exemplary pupil that was a hindrance for talking to you; you didn’t.

For harnessing me unto your soul, forgetting him from your past, yet you didn’t.

Thank you for having to call me your ‘partner’ but your toxicity seemed to built my anxieties once again and the current stopped when we ended. But you weren’t always that bad. You reminded me of daytime serenades and cocoon butterflies, full of sunlight, tunes, and colors but I prefer to have a glamorous and minimal moonlight dances.


I apologize.

For leaving you reluctantly, to the rock bottom.

For letting the opportunities pass, just to show you that I somehow loved you.

For trying so hard, settling down to the Great Unknown.

For tasting the bittersweet poison of your lips on mine whenever I hear your name.

For staying sober and sane, even at 3am, weeping from all the miseries you’ve brought.

For letting you unlatch the real you, knowing you’re an absolute deuce.

Sorry for leaving you on seen. Leaving you, literally. It was a divulged relationship of issues and garbage. And I did want no leftovers. Sorry for having to trip to an abysmal chasm of a person who didn’t love you back, even though I tried so hard.

I am gratefully sorry for being a burden and an accomplice to your acceptance. It was a helluva ride; I made artworks based from us, from you. I made literary pieces about you. I imprisoned our memories in me as a sign of faux pas.


Danke und ich entschuldige mich. Ich hoffe du würdest dich selbst ersticken.




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